The Daily Profaner » If You’re Giving Your Special Somone Your D*ck in a Box, Wrap it in a Christmas Condom!

The Daily Profaner: Putting Snark First, myths Last!

December 15, 2008

If You’re Giving Your Special Somone Your D*ck in a Box, Wrap it in a Christmas Condom!

Times are tough and millions of American men are struggling to find the perfect holiday gift at a low price. Many of these men will no doubt turn within for inspiration and give the gift of lust this holiday season. If you’re feeling like safety denies you the intimacy you seek… go get kicked in the head - then buy some Christmas Sheath condoms! This Winter, after she unwraps your special present, wrap it right back up with a condom and shout “THIS ONE’S FOR THE POPE” before making some sweaty holiday love.

[Condomainia]

Public Service Announcement: if you’re the kind of asshole who doesn’t like condoms, fuck you. You may whine that a little latex means that it doesn’t feel as good, but I’m sure it feels better than herpes. If you can’t afford condoms, Planned Parenthood would love to hook you up - while you’re there get an std test too.