The Daily Profaner: Putting Snark First, Myths Last!

Gee, aren’t some of those Evangelical Christians so pushy with all their proselytizing? Hey, you know what would make it even worse? If they were burning their message into your fucking arm:

Last December she [Jenifer Dennis] and her husband Steve accused a popular 8th-grade science teacher, John Freshwater, of using an electrostatic device known as a Tesla coil to brand a cross into Zachary’s arm [see image above]. They say the burn, which in photos show an 8-by-4-inch mark on his forearm, raised blisters, kept their son awake that night, and lasted for several weeks.

Wait, what the fuck? A “science” teacher actually branded a student - a child - for Christ? Wait - it gets even crazier; apparently the parents’ first reaction was not “holy fuck, who did this to you?”. Instead, they viewed the mark not as a signifier child abuse, but more as a religious emblem.

At first glance, they saw the mark as a religious emblem.

Yes, a religious emblem - burned into your child’s flesh. Oh, and apparently if you don’t love Christ enough to allow a cross burned into your kid, you are a bad Christian and your neighbors will be sure to let you know this via lawn signs.

Their accusations and their resulting lawsuit against the district have brought them criticism. A sign posted in a yard near their house read, “The student goes. We Support Mr. Freshwater. The Bible stays!”

Apparently burning crosses are just too 1950s. Let’s recap: We have here a community persecuting a family for protecting their child from Evangelical FLESH BURNING at the hands of a teacher, who is apparently somehow still pretty well-liked  - we have officially left any sort of identifiable reality. I have seen the end of sanity, and it is in Gambier, Ohio.

[Religion Dispatches]