The Daily Profaner: Putting Snark First, Myths Last!

American Jesus hero Fred “god hates fags” Phelps will be giving one of those invocationish things at Barack Obama’s Inauguration. Naturally, Phelps prayer/protest will be a million times better than whatever Rick Warren says when he isn’t busy giving the gay inauguration parade doughnuts.

Phelps’ prophetic wisdom allows him to see that Barack ”the beast” Obama is leading American down an astroglide-slicked path into the buttsecksey ass of armageddon:

“Our God brought him to this hour and gave him that delusion.  Read that till it sinks in.  GOD DID THIS.  Antichrist Obama is a work of God!  It is for this very cause that God raised him up and directed all his steps and fitted him for the final battle.  Call it the FINAL God Smack.  It is that God Smack that will melt this world in a fervent heat.”

If you’re one of the lucky people who are going to be in DC January 20th sharing a handful of andy gumps with a billion hopetards, you can find Phelps in a corner of John Marshal Memorial Park on the north side of Pennsylvania Avenue. You should really go see Phelps instead of Obama. Seriously, what is Obama going to say? “Blah blah - hope - unity - change - hope.” You’ve heard it before, the only thing worthwhile thing he can say at this point is that David Plouffe will stop emailing me.

[pinknews] [Westboro Baptist Church Blogs]

PS: If you’re reading this Plouffe, I’m serious - it’s over. I know we fooled around a little, I “voulenteered” and “donated” but I never really loved you. It’s time you moved on and left my inbox alone.