Have you strayed just a bit from your virginity pledge? In a night of drunken fondling, did you forget that you gave your word to stop at third? Perhaps you now find yourself facing a potentially awkward wedding night, but never fear - the Artificial Virginity Hymen* is here! This synthetic hymen is guaranteed to look and feel just like the real thing and even oozes a little smidge of red sludge so that your husband (read: owner) knows that you are completely his now that he has stuck his mighty er…flag into your ahem…untouched soil.
[Shreveport Times] [Gigimo] via [Jezebel]
*Now available in countries where lacking a hymen on your wedding night can get you killed!
It’s intriguing that you’ve translated husband as “owner”… If you translate the words “husband” and “wife” into Hebrew (the original language of the Old Testament), “husband” becomes “bah’al”… Which is also the word for “owner.” And “wife” becomes “eeh’sha”… Which is also the word for “woman.”
So it’s quite literally true that “owner and woman” is the original phrase that is nowadays translated as “husband and wife.”
Comment by Kate6 — January 19, 2009 @ 10:28 am