The Daily Profaner: Putting Snark First, Myths Last!

We here at the Daily Profaner are still pretty new to the whole “Internet scene” but even we have those we lionize, and those we deplore.  Being that his is the case, we have decided to elect our first Godless Person of the Year!

We here have decided to choose an individual whose Atheism, while quite important to us, doesn’t necessarily define his achievements.  This individual is a person who does good in the community, brings laughter and enjoyment into the lives of millions daily, and although he doesn’t often mention his Atheism, he is the model of what a good secular Humanist should be.  Many other outstanding godless individuals were considered for the honor, but our main reason for choosing this man is that he is not just a person who helps Atheists and other non-traditional groups, but is a pillar of the community and helps all those that he can without discrimination.

And the winner is… (more…)

While a good number of religious shun modern technology, sometimes going as far as to not use modern medicine even at the expense of their children’s lives, others have decided to stop fighting against the currents of our technologically-based society and just go with the flow.

Muxlim Pal is the name of the new virtual world intended for use by Muslims that closely resembles Second Life.  The open beta for the game is currently underway and the parent site, Muxlim.com reports that the game should debut in 2009.  The site’s founder, Mohamed El-Fatatry, was careful to state that the game isn’t so much about the religion of Islam as it is about the lifestyle.  Unfortunately for the unindoctrinated, it’s somewhat difficult to separate the religion from the lifestyle when in most Muslim nations there are laws enacted by the government itself, and not a religious institution, which prohibit women from doing many of the same things men are allowed to do, and where the only legally practicable religion is that of Islam itself.

Given recent findings that show racism is just as alive in the virtual world as it is in reality, it’s not totally surprising that a group such as Islam, which has suffered a serious bout of unpopularity due to the actions of some of its more extreme members, might find it beneficial to have their own versions of certain social networks.

We here at the Profaner think it might, however, be beneficial for Islam to try and show a different side of itself to its Western neighbors rather than ghettoizing its members in their own virtual world.  In fact, given all the furry sex that seems to occur in Second Life, we definitely think that game and some of its members are in serious need of burkhas.

Hit the Jump for some of our other suggestions.

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On December 10, International Human Rights Day, instead of going to work to toil for the man and his machine of hate, you can be a part of something bigger than yourself by calling in gay to work.  That’s right, call in gay!

The Day without a Gay campaign is seeking to get as many people as possible to take the day off work and volunteer their services for LBGTQ rights.  It’s a worthwhile goal and a chance to stick it to your boss!   But don’t think they’re all about getting you fired; the campaign is fully aware that most states have no legal protection for gays and lesbians when it comes to their jobs, and so they’ve prepared other options for you as well.

Check out the link below if you’re interested in helping, or if you’re just interested in what’s going on.

[Day Without A Gay]

A recent election survey done on California’s infamous Prop. 8 by the Public Policy Institute of California (PPIC) shows a shockingly unexpected fact: evangelical and born-again Christians overwhelmingly voted in support of the obviously unconstitutional ban on gay marriage.  The support was not limited to these denominations though, as Catholics and Protestants put their differences aside in order to join hands in that most cherished of Christian traditions, oppressing others.

On the flip side, 79% of those who stated they had no religion voted against the ban, but as my esteemed colleague Mr. Altarkation has so aptly stated before, the remaining 21% of these non-religious folk help to serve as a reminder that it doesn’t take religion for someone to be a complete fucking ass-hat.

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Readers may not know it, but I’m quite the globetrotter.  I’ve been all around, from the shores of Mexico to the rugged plains of Canada, and even climbed to the highest spot in Japan.  In retrospect it seems that’s actually all of the places outside of America I’ve been to… well shit.

Anyway, I currently reside in Japan and it’s always fun to look at how other parts of the world see our customs, one of those being Christmas.  Now, to most Americans, Christmas is about as religious as a can of tuna and even one such as I may find himself unwittingly having a good time at a friend’s Christmas party while I attempt in vain to be sociable.

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The Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) has posted another Winter Solstice sign, this time in Springfield, Illinois.  Unlike an earlier version of the sign, one of 2 previously put up in 2 different states, this one comes without a poem on the back.  The group states that while they are opposed to both religious and irreligious displays in state capitols, as long as things such as nativity scenes are going to be put up, then Atheists need a voice as well.  The sign is obviously meant to undermine Christmas-based religious propaganda, but using one religion to undermine another isn’t exactly what Atheism is about.

The sign’s creators state that they are reclaiming the Winter Solstice from Christianity, who long ago scheduled Christmas to coincide with it in order to help convert Pagans.  But who are they trying to reclaim the holiday for?  Certainly not themselves; they’re Atheists and as such feel one religious celebration holds just as little meaning as any and all others.

[FFRF]

People wishing to visit Washington D.C. this holiday season should be delighted to hear that a new visitor center has opened up on Capitol Hill for those wishing to see sessions of congress without having to wait in the harsh winter weather.

In a startlingly rare bit of good news, the center was originally designed without any references to a god who only represents a portion of the population… that is, until some Christians with crosses in their hands and sticks up their asses had to go and fight the constitution again by insisting that their god be included.  You know that god, forget to call him and he whines like a kid with a skinned knee.

Congressman John Boehner (pronounced Baner by the masses and Boner by the staff here at the Profaner) made a special effort at the opening ceremony to thank those responsible for getting god included.  It should be mentioned that Boehner has publicly called Barack Obama a “chicken shit” and so has about as much credibility with us as does a piece of molding Swiss cheese. We know Obama isn’t exactly an Atheist’s best friend, he’s still an awesome dude.  Newt Gingrich’s spokesperson also stated that Gingrich felt not including religious references took away from the idea of god as being central to our heritage.  It’s worth noting that Gingrich has admitted to adultery and so isn’t exactly in a position to tell anyone about god’s centrality.

[CBN News]

Two new shows, “The Uprising,” and “”Revolve: Rockin’ the Road”" are hitting the air and trying to spread the word of god.  “The Uprising” follows 3 Christian skaters who are so rabid about their need to prove they love god that they apparently run around trying to proselytize to people and convert them while “Revolve” follows the exploits of the crew of a Christian rock festival in a sad attempt to imitate MTV’s wildly successful “Road Rules.”  I personally found “Road Rules” to be one of the most annoying shows I’ve ever been subjected to, and mixing Jesus freaks into recipe may in fact lead to my eyes spontaniously combusting.

If you have some sick desire to punish yourself, or want to make a fun drinking game dealing with how many times they spout out old platitudes and make superfluous references to god, then you can check out the link below for more information on the shows.

[ABC News]

In Oklahoma a bill has been brought up for approval that would allow “religious freedom” in schools.  Now, we already have religious freedom, but this would make a clear line as to religion’s place: everywhere.

Opponents say the bill is unnecessary because WE ALREADY HAVE FREEDOM OF RELIGION, but proponents are probably unfamiliar with the constitution since they’re always seemingly trying to subvert it for their own agendas.

The bill would allow students to express their views on religion religious views in class and on assignments without fear of any sort of penalty.  As a teacher, I find this quite disconcerting since many of my students were apt to bring up religion when discussing many topics in order to cover their fucking stupidity obvious ignorance about the subjects being discussed.  If I ask a student why Lenny killed a mouse in Of Mice and Men, I don’t need an answer like “Because it was The Lord working through him,” I need a clear concise answer based on textual analysis of the work, not a cheap way to cause an uproar and get out of an assignment.

My favorite memory in the classroom will always be a student telling me because she was a Christian she couldn’t learn about witchcraft when I was trying to teach my class about the Salem witch trials.  Did I mention that this student didn’t do an assignment all year long and had a fouler mouth than the drunkest of sailors despite her overwhelming faith?  Giving students an out so they don’t have to learn is not protecting them or their rights.

[KTEN.com]

I freakin’ love video games.  Ask anyone here at the Profaner what I love and they’ll tell you hands-down: masturbation video games.  Unfortunately, people just aren’t generally smart enough for video games and can’t do simple things like look on the side of the game box for the clearly printed ratings which tell them whether or not the game is appropriate for their children.

Luckily for all those dullard concerned parents out there, there’s a solution!  The Timothy Plan family of Funds (Christian financial planning) has complied a list of games not to buy due to their “anti-family” nature.  Now I’m all for family, and I certainly understand the sense in not letting an 8-year-old play a game like Grand Theft Auto 4 where you can pick up hookers, have sex with them vigorously, then murder them for a quick refund.  While I’m actually quite a big fan of murdering prostitutes such video games, I can clearly understand why some people would not be.  Unfortunately, the list isn’t as simple as violence.

The reasons why the Timothy Plan won’t invest in certain companies, as well as a link to the list are after the jump.

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