http://thedailyprofaner.com News that puts snark first, myths last Thu, 29 Jan 2009 19:59:59 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en If you're lucky enough to be in Los Angeles there is something I want you to do today today - march with the United Teachers of Los Angeles (UTLA). The State is poised to make budget cuts that will destroy some teacher's jobs, gut teacher health benefits, and lower the ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/29/if-youre-in-la-help-teachers-today/ The German government is afraid that Tom Cruise's new movie will inspire Germans to flock to the church of Scientology, thus destroying German democracy. Apparently when Tom Cruise dons poofy pants and a ridiculous eye patch he taps into the Wagnerian soul of the Deutsches Volk and his sweet song of L. ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/28/german-govt-fears-scientology-will-destroy-democracy-puts-up-anti-scientology-sign/ You know how some atheists are always saying they know the bible better than all those wacky Christians who actually believe in it? Well, there is a great opportunity for those special atheists (who happen to be 7 to 18 years of age) to totally show off their bible knowledge ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/28/prove-that-you-know-the-bible-better-than-belivers-enter-the-bible-bee/ In addition to teachers at your local school getting away with burning religious symbols into students' flesh, they are apparently also allowed to expel students if they find their behavior "immoral or scandalous"... which pretty much means "if they feel like it" because that is vague as all hell. Two ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/28/lezzie-schoolgirls-expelled-from-religious-school-court-says-that-is-a-ok/ Sorry again; we've been sucked into a few other projects and a move, leaving you without our usual little vignettes to depress inform amuse you. Here is all the old news you didn't get here because we were busy stuffing shit into boxes and breaking a couch into splinters because ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/28/blasphemous-rumors-6/ It seems some of you aren't too happy with our recent, nearly non-existent posting schedule. No, we are not leaving you all alone with the big, bad interwebs - but we do indeed have other shit to do. To help you understand this, I will provide a list of other ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/28/you-are-a-blogosphere-of-whiners/ Samir Abu Hamza, an Islamic cleric in Melbourne, wants to make sure that men know that no matter what the law says it's all kinds of Islamically correct to interrupt your wife while she's cooking for you in order to force your throbbing cock into her unwilling body:  "If the husband ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/22/australian-islamic-cleric-says-islam-green-lights-raping-and-beating-your-wife/ The Spanish Supreme Court told the Catholic Church it had to mind its own fucking business and reinstate Maria del Carmen Galayo, a woman who had been fired from her position as a teacher at a Catholic school. Galayo separated from her previous husband and remarried without having an annulment. She ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/22/spanish-supreme-court-stops-catholic-church-from-firing-teacher-for-adultery/ Happy abortion holocaust day everyone! On this day a bazillion years ago women grew tired of dying for no reason and demanded complete legal control over their vajayjays. Some old white guys decided that this was cool with them, and the supreme court decision on Roe v. Wade was born ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/22/celebrating-roe-v-wade-a-guide/ [caption id="attachment_2095" align="alignleft" width="200" caption="Our artist's conception of Hitchens' pube-art."][/caption] Christopher Hitchens was caught on the red carpet by freelance reporter Angela Valdez who asked him if he had been doing anything "creative" with his pubic hair since his multi-part spa and waxing experience for Vanity Fair. Hitchens responded with all the ... http://thedailyprofaner.com/2009/01/21/keeping-up-with-christopher-hitchens-pubes/