The German government is afraid that Tom Cruise’s new movie will inspire Germans to flock to the church of Scientology, thus destroying German democracy. Apparently when Tom Cruise dons poofy pants and a ridiculous eye patch he taps into the Wagnerian soul of the Deutsches Volk and his sweet song of L. Ron Hubbard resonates irresistibly with the essence of the German heart.
The German government refuses to recognize Scientology as a religion, will not grant them tax exemption, and attempted to ban it in 2007. They believe that the cult’s practices are ”a possible danger to democratic society” and aren’t taking that shit laying down - they’ve placed a sign across from Scientology HQ in Berlin reading:
“The district of Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf expresses its opposition to the activities of the Scientology sect in this district and in Berlin, and hopes that responsible parties in Berlin will watch the Scientology sect with a critical eye in the near future, and that any new information will be made public.”
Those are some fighting words - I bet Tom Cruise is quaking in his poofy pants right now. Maybe some “responsible parties” will dig up some dirt on Scientology and the German Government can wield its mighty ban-hammer and finally run Scientology out of their country.
It looks like the atheist bus ad campaign in Barcelona will be getting a new, theistic friend soon. The group E-Christians wants to throw their hat (ads) into the ring and is trying to raise the money to buy space on Barcelona buses. E-Christians says they “like the idea of putting the debate on God in the public square, and in this sense we want to make our own contribution.” They have not yet revealed what the planned signs are going to say. We suspect they might go with the traditional shame/piety-inducing standby “god watches you masturbate”.
After raising £140,000, the advertising campaign backed by the British Humanist Association and Richard Dawkins is going nationwide in England. The campaign was cooked up by comedy writer Ariane Sherine and focuses on buying bus ads that say, “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.” Sherine is proud of Briton’s for supporting the campaign:
“This is a great day for freedom of speech in Britain and I’m really excited and thrilled that the adverts have been approved and I hope that they will make people smile on their way to work.”
The ads kicked off a wave of similar ads in America, Australia, and now, in Spain. While they might make some godless folks smile on the way to work, the ads will certainly make many theists frown. Richard Dawkins hopes that these frowns will turn to tears, tears Dawkins will harvest to quench his godless thirst.
Atheist groups in Barcelona are going to totally jock the British Humanist Association’s style and buy two bus ads with the message “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life” - presumably translated into Spanish. Barcelona is Spain’s second largest city, so there are sure to be a fuck-ton of angry Catholics riding the godless buses.
The ads will start running on January 12th. On January 13th, Pat Robertson will declare Spain damned by god for tolerating this blasphemy. On January 14th, Barcelona will continue to enjoy pleasant weather, a thriving nightlife and atheist bus ads - free of holy wrath.
The anti-choice group Walk for Life West Coast just bought a big-ass billboard displaying it’s slogan “abortion hurts women” right off the Bay Bridge in San Francisco. They feel the message is important because, you know, nothing hurts women more than reproductive self determination and the freedom to choose in a safe, legal and healthy manner.
The billboard also has a hot-line number on it where women can go and get lied to about abortion. I’m going to have a few drinks and give em a call, after all if they’re talking to my drunk ass they won’t be lying to women in need. If you want to call them to ask about your circumstances…at length, the number is 866-482-5433. Don’t call them and take up all their operators time so that they can’t spread their lies, that would be amazing wrong, so very wrong.
Megyn Kelly bravely went on The O’Reilly Factor to discuss the sad state of Washington State Capitol and its plethora of signs. Kelly believes the governor is justified in cutting off new display applications due to lack of space, whereas Bill somehow feels this proves he was right all along and that all displays should be removed (except for that Christian one). In reality, both of them are wrong.
Go ahead and watch the clip anyway because, as the Friendly Atheist points out, it’s always entertaining to see people shout “You are so wrong” at Bill O’Reilly - just as you have so many times from the comfort of your own home.
Those funky Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) signs sure have an impact on some people; a few individuals seem so struck that they want a sign of their very own - at least that’s why we assume they keep stealing them. The FFRF’s sign in Springfield is the second sign to suffer ‘8th commandment murder’ at the hands of an anonymous individual. The sign was stolen from the Illinois Capitol building sometime between 9:45 pm Monday and 7:00 am Tuesday, as reported by the custodial crew. The Capitol Police (who guard the Capitol 24 hours a day) oddly enough, saw nothing. The theft is being treated as a criminal matter; the thief will face a criminal charge if they are found.
As always, the Freedom From Religion Foundation will replace the sign, probably held down by more tape this time, and add in a note quoting the 8th commandment of “thou shalt not steal”. The real question has to do with this “thou shalt not steal” sign- how dare the FFRF put up a blatantly religious display?
One of the darker secrets of The Daily Profaner is our secret cadre of clandestine operatives who are sent out on dangerous missions to keep you informed. Our Washington operative - codenamed Marguerite Duras - has risked her life to infiltrate the battle lines of the war on Christmas and bring you pictures from inside the Washington State Capitol in Olympia. These pictures aren’t for the faint of heart; the war on Christmas is a bloody one. If you’re brave enough, hit the jump and check out the full gallery.
Fox News’ Gretchen Carlson is so over the atheist sign in the WA State Capitol; it was good while it lasted, but when she heard about the Capitol’s newFestivus Pole she knew it was hate at first sight.
The Freedom From Religion Foundation’s sign may have said “Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds” but the Festivus Pole is “the biggest insult ever to the season of Christmas.” It is totally the “BIGGESTinsult EVER” - and all this time I thought the biggest insult to Christmas was Jingle All the Way.
Fred Phelps is sick and tired of being left out of all the hate going on in Washington; he’s decided that the State’s Capitol needs a special Christmas message from the “god hates fags” church:
“You’d better watch out, get ready to cry, You’d better go hide, I’m telling you why ‘cuz Santa Claus will take you to hell. He is your favorite idol, you worship at his feet, but when you stand before your God He won’t help you take the heat. So get this fact straight: you’re feeling God’s hate, Santa’s to blame for the economy’s fate, Santa Claus will take you to hell.”
Bill O’Reilly will declare that Phelps is a “secular progressive nut” in 3, 2, 1…
The German government is afraid that Tom Cruise’s new movie will inspire Germans to flock to the church of Scientology, thus destroying German democracy. Apparently when Tom Cruise dons poofy pants and a ridiculous eye patch he taps into the Wagnerian soul of the Deutsches Volk and his sweet song of L. Ron Hubbard resonates irresistibly with the essence of the German heart.
After raising £140,000, the advertising campaign backed by the British Humanist Association and Richard Dawkins is going nationwide in England. The campaign was cooked up by comedy writer Ariane Sherine and focuses on buying bus ads that say, “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.” Sherine is proud of Briton’s for supporting the campaign:
Atheist groups in Barcelona are going to totally jock the British Humanist Association’s style and buy two bus ads with the message “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life” - presumably translated into Spanish. Barcelona is Spain’s second largest city, so there are sure to be a fuck-ton of angry Catholics riding the godless buses.
The anti-choice group Walk for Life West Coast just bought a big-ass billboard displaying it’s slogan “abortion hurts women” right off the Bay Bridge in San Francisco. They feel the message is important because, you know, nothing hurts women more than reproductive self determination and the freedom to choose in a safe, legal and healthy manner.
Those funky Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) signs sure have an impact on some people; a few individuals seem so struck that they want a sign of their very own - at least that’s why we assume they keep stealing them. The FFRF’s 
One of the darker secrets of The Daily Profaner is our secret cadre of clandestine operatives who are sent out on dangerous missions to keep you informed. Our Washington operative - codenamed Marguerite Duras - has risked her life to infiltrate the battle lines of the 
Fred Phelps is sick and tired of being left out of all the