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January 22, 2009
 The Spanish Supreme Court told the Catholic Church it had to mind its own fucking business and reinstate Maria del Carmen Galayo, a woman who had been fired from her position as a teacher at a Catholic school. Galayo separated from her previous husband and remarried without having an annulment. She was fired because the Church viewed her as an adulterer and therefore unable to properly teach children how to eschew condoms and hate gay people. In the ruling, the court awarded Galayo back pay totalling $12,888. The Church is going to appeal in an attempt to block her from resuming work. Galayo needs to keep her job just long enough to have some lesbian sex so they fire her for that too, then she can sue them for even more money and retire and never have to deal with kids again.
[CNA]
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January 21, 2009
 Robert Bork is out predicting that a “terrible conflict” is going to empower the sodomite beast and its legions of secular gay fascists to sacrifice the beating heart of Catholicism on a Pagan altar of equality. Bork believes that the new protections - which will protect LGBTQ Americans against violence and discrimination and allow women the freedom to exercise their reproductive rights - will throw down with Jesus. “We are going to see in the near future a terrible conflict between claimed rights of homosexuals and religious freedom.” Which sounds pretty cool, I hope the pink pistols show up.
After that, he rants about how nobody calls god anymore so he is getting lonely and that we’re a society that is “now going down a path towards kind of a happy-go-lucky nihilism.” So everybody - all together now - lock your arms, skip down the street and sing along; ‘god is dead, use your head, have some fun while in your bed, cause no god’s watching to judge your acts, so stay out of church and just relax’!
[CNA]
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January 10, 2009
Some nutty Catholic blog is butthurt about a post we ran last week about a pro-life group’s big lying sign and blogged their own post claiming “American holocaust deniers mock pro-lifers“, which is totally half true; we do love to mock pro-lifers. Just to make sure everybody’s clear on this one - HITLER KILLED HIM A FUCKTON OF JEWS (and other peeps too.) Though something tells me that is not the holocaust they were talking about.; they were probably talking about the sodomite beast’s never-ending feast of a million feti.
These people were good enough to bestow upon our humble website the official title of “pro-death website”. Yes, we love death so much at The Daily Profaner that sometimes we like to suck the fetus straight out of the womb because fresh feti taste like deviled eggs.
[Holy Innocents, Long Beach]
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January 5, 2009
 Atheist groups in Barcelona are going to totally jock the British Humanist Association’s style and buy two bus ads with the message “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life” - presumably translated into Spanish. Barcelona is Spain’s second largest city, so there are sure to be a fuck-ton of angry Catholics riding the godless buses.
The ads will start running on January 12th. On January 13th, Pat Robertson will declare Spain damned by god for tolerating this blasphemy. On January 14th, Barcelona will continue to enjoy pleasant weather, a thriving nightlife and atheist bus ads - free of holy wrath.
[M&C]
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 Are you longing for that special scent that lets the ladies know you’re the kinda guy who likes to ride bareback? If you are, then your wait is over - The Pope’s Cologne is for you! The Pope’s Cologne is based on the secret formula of Pope Pious IX and is an “aristocratic, Old World cologne with surprising freshness”.
With one whiff women will know you’re a man of superior, Catholic, moral fiber that will never use a condom and hates their right to choose. Don’t feel left out if you’re gay. The Pope’s Cologne is the perfect cologne for the closeted gay man. If you’re having trouble repressing your sexuality when other men flirt with you, try The Pope’s Cologne. Once they get wind of your Catholic aroma gay men will steer clear leaving you to loathe your natural sexuality in peace.
[ChristianNewsWire] [The Pope's Cologne]
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December 23, 2008
 Der Popenator has been busy lately; he recently declared that Gender Theory would destroy our civilization - just like the aliens from Independence Day - and now he’s embraching the 17th Century heresy of Galileo. Der Popenator, who had been criticized for seemingly condoning the Church’s persecution of the famed astronomer, celebrated the 400th anniversary of Galileo’s first telescope observations by saying that Galileo isn’t a hell-bound heathen. He said, “an understanding of the laws of nature could stimulate appreciation of God’s work.”
He neglected to mention whether or not that appreciation covered radiometric dating, which proves that the Book of Genesis is like totally wrong.
[BBC]
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December 15, 2008
 Chilean Cardinal Jorge Medina is tired of western pop star harlots polluting his country with their filthy sex appeal and a popularity that eclipses his church. At a Mass honoring the second anniversary of deposed dictator Augusto Pinochet’s death, the Cardinal spoke out in his homily against Madonna’s recent whore-show:
“The atmosphere in our city is pretty agitated because this woman is visiting and with incredibly shameful behavior provokes a wild and lustful enthusiasm… Thoughts of lust, impure thoughts, impure acts, are an offense to God and a dirty stain on our heart,”
If only Cardinal Medina’s old friend President Pinochet were around to do something about it all; certainly the great man Medina was praying to venerate in that mass would have made Madonna disappear almost as fast as the thousands of innocent Chileans he “disappeared” when he ruled Chile.
[Daily Times]
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December 5, 2008
The Holy See has signed and ratified the Convention on Cluster Munitions. The Convention is a treaty that bans the trade, use, and production of cluster bombs, which pose a serious threat to civilians, as they scatter unexploded sub-munitions over the battlefield which act like landmines. The United States has refused to sign the Cluster Bomb Convention as well as The Mine Ban Treaty. In all seriousness, map props Popenator, mad props.
(more…)
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November 26, 2008
The US Sixth Circuit Court of appeals has ruled the Vatican can held liable for failing to protect children from priest sex abuse. The ruling could also open the way for other complaints to find their way to St. Peter’s such as those of holocaust survivors seeking to file suit against the Vatican Bank. Der Popenator has yet to comment but he’ll no doubt be pleased when the Vatican’s sins come back as lawsuits and bankrupt the church. Accumulating excess wealth is a Catholic sin now, isn’t it?
[Wall Street Journal] via [Pharyngula]
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November 25, 2008
 Secret Atheist Muslim Communist President-Elect Barack Obama continues to stand strong in defense of reproductive rights, and continues to take a lot of flak for it - even from his own liberal media allies. Obama loves reproductive rights, this is nothing new guys:
(more…)
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