The Daily Profaner: Putting Snark First, Myths Last!

The Pacific Justice Institute, a conservative Christian activist group, is attacking UC Berkley (with a lawsuit!) over a website the University put up to promote the teaching of evolution. They allege that the website violates Separation of Church and State because it endorses religions by promoting evolution and teaching all that science/evidence/reality stuff. Institute President Brad Dacus says:

“This [website] injures religious freedom in this country… The government is playing a role that is overtly hostile to some religious groups and denominations while favoring and giving greater recognition towards others.”

His argument goes something like this:

• Religions hold different positions on evolution therefore any position on evolution is a religious position - even if it has fuckall to do with religion. If some nut has a religious position on something then EVERY opinion on it is religious.
• UC Berkley’s website is all about promoting the teaching of evolution and science due to being the godless liberal heathens they are.
• Therefore UC Berkley’s website is endorsing a religious position because some crazy fuckers don’t believe that science is real.
• Since C Berkley’s website is taxpayer-funded (because we promote science education in this country) it is state sponsorship of religion.

You know, some religions (Scientology, Christian Science, the Amish) have a religious problem with pharmaceuticals and modern medicine. Since hospitals are taking government money to give out drugs they are taking a government sponsored stance that “is overtly hostile to some religious groups and denominations while favoring and giving greater recognition towards others” every time they write a prescription. We need to stop it! Someone, quick, call Brad Dacus!

Two Identical anti-evolution bills in the Michigan legislature died in committee last Friday. The bills were part of a new creationist campaign calling for “academic freedom”, which means that that schools would have had to allow for ‘debate’ when they’re teaching controversial subjects. The purpose of this is to cast doubt in students’ minds about the overwhelming evidence in support of evolution and climate change. Similar bills have already died in Alabama, Florida, Michigan, Missouri and South Carolina. These bills all die because teaching facts and science is what most people call “academic freedom”. 

Soon all the children of Michigan will be taught that they are godless monkeys and PE classes will be replaced with feces throwing hour -SECULAR WIN!

[National Center for Science Education]

Those of you out there who thought George W. Bush didn’t learn anything in the last 8 years need to check out his newest and bestest ever interview because he is catching up to the 19th Century!  Bush, who was no fan of the whole evolution thing, has started singing a different song - one that sounds a little more like reality:

“I think evolution can - you’re getting me way out of my lane here. I’m just a simple president. But it’s, I think that God created the earth, created the world; I think the creation of the world is so mysterious it requires something as large as an almighty and I don’t think it’s incompatible with the scientific proof that there is evolution.”

I guess that’s change he can believe in.

It’s time to take the tired old Bush bashing horse out back and gently blow it’s brains out. I’m going to take a break now and go find something actually interesting to write about.  Good bye George W. Bush and enjoy your retirement - we will.

[The Guardian]

The end times have begun!  The Cincinnati Zoo has abandoned god’s love by sacking it’s program to bundle tickets to the Zoo with tickets to the Creation Museum.  Clearly this is the work of the Antichrist!  What’s next?  No doubt secular gay fascists will take over the country with their “civil rights” and “equal protection”!  If that happens god will send down his holy wrath, we’ll be punished, LIKE SWEDEN!

SECULAR WIN!!!
[Pharyngula]

A brave soldier of christ has sent a letter warning Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty of Biology professor PZ Meyers “rabid attacks on our most treasured institutions”, calling the oh so Jewish Al Franken a “foul mouthed atheist” and demanding action because he believes “the future of the Republic to be in grave jeopardy”.  Meyers, an outspoken critic of creationism, proud “godless liberal”, and cracker abuser has posted the full letter (now with 150% more snark!) on his blog for your mocking reading pleasure.

[Pharyngula]