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January 20, 2009
 You may have noticed an odd gleam in Rick Warren’s eyes when he addressed the inaugural crowd. That gleam was his bigass Hitler boner dreaming that it was in a crowd of nazi-tastical Christians instead of fifty billion hopetards having an obamagasm. The fun loving (and insane) Christians at the Museum of Idolatry blog dug up this great Rick Warren mein kampf moment from 2005 where Warren addresses a stadium full of 30,000 people and calls them to be his Hitler Youth for Jesus:
“My friends this is going to be a revolution… what is the vision for the next 25 years? I’ll tell you what it is. It is the global expansion of the kingdom of god. It is the total mobilization of this church. And the third part is the dream of a radical devotion of every believer. Now, I choose that word ‘radical’ intentionally, because only radicals change the world. Everything great done in this world is done by passionate people. Moderate people get moderately nothing done…
In 1939, in a stadium muck like this, in Munich Germany they packed it out with young men and women in brown shirts for a fanatical man standing behind a podium named Adolf Hitler, the personification of evil. And in that stadium, those in brown shirts formed with their bodies a sign that said in the whole stadium, “Hitler we are yours.” And they nearly took the world.
Lenin once said, “give me 100 committed, totally committed men and I’ll change the world.” And, he nearly did. A few years ago they took the sayings of Chairman Mao, in China, put them in a little red book and a group of young people committed them to memory and put it in their minds and they took that nation, the largest nation in the world by storm because they committed to memory the sayings to the chairman Mao.
When I hear those kinds of stories, I think ‘what would happen if American Christians, if world Christians, if just the Christians in the stadium, followers of Christ, would say ‘Jesus, we are yours’? What kind of spiritual awakening would we have?
Jesus said, ‘I want you to do this publicly.’ So what I want you to do is take the card and in just a minute, and if you say ‘Rick, I am willing to serve God’s purposes in my generation.’ I want you to open up to the sign that says ‘Whatever it takes.’
Whatever it takes.”
So bust out those pink triangles people - Rick Warren’s Orange County nazi-church army is coming for the gays!
Watch the video after the break:
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January 19, 2009
 The nation is filling with that new president smell and a billion hopetards are swarming into Washington to celebrate the dawning anti-christ Obama apocalypse. It’s time for every media outlet ever to run an Obama story about how he’s realized King’s dream and will heal the country (but not it’s syphilis). Instead of fighting over who gets to give the new President the best media hand-job the Daily Profaner has made a special list for you - a list of three reasons Barack Obama is no friend of the godless:
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January 9, 2009
 Rick Warren’s Saddleback church has a new marriage counseling program called “it’s just his way”, a delightful program in which battered women get told that god hates divorce, too fucking bad for you. The bible says that a woman can only get a divorce if one partner likes to bang other people or abandons their partner like a teen mother’s love child. They’re pretty broken up about it too:
“I wish there were a third in Scripture, having been involved as a pastor with situations of abuse… There is something in me that wishes there were a Bible verse that says, ‘If they abuse you in this-and-such kind of way, then you have a right to leave them.’”
Saddleback says maybe you should get some counseling if you’re getting abused, and if you’re getting “physically abused” you should get a “temporary separation”, but they’re isn’t having any of that namby pamby bitch got slapped and didn’t like it; a woman’s got to get beat to get a break:
“When I say physical abuse, I mean literally somebody is beating you regularly… I don’t mean they grab you once. I mean they’ve made a habit of beating you regularly.”
Don’t worry, if you’re in an abusive relationship you can still honor god’s law - just fuck someone else! Then you can get one of those Rick-Warren-approved adultery divorces.
[Associated Baptist Press]
Correction: Associated baptist Press has released a correction that replaces the article this post drew it’s quotes from:
“Editor’s note: This story updates, replaces and corrects one issued Jan. 8, which incorrectly attributed the domestic-violence comments to Warren rather than Holladay. ABP regrets the error.”
So there you go - it was really Warren’s “Teaching Pastor” that made the comments. While it was not Warren who made the remarks I feel secure in laying the responsibility for them at Warren’s feet - his church, his rules.
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January 8, 2009
 Michael Newdow’s fun party lawsuit that invited every atheist ever along to sue to demand a secular inauguration ceremony for Barack Obama will be getting a hearing in front of a person in a big black dress. The U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia will hear the case on Jan. 15th.
This means you will have five whole days on the edge of your seat while the case is thrown out, there isn’t enough time to appeal it, and nothing happens. On the day of the inauguration you can get all your crying out when Rick Warren gives his bigot-o-rific invocation so you don’t embarrass yourself weeping when Obama gives his speech.
[Friendly Atheist]
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December 30, 2008
 Jesus’ favorite oompa loompa released a new video last week in which he tried to deal with the scandal caused by his cornucopia of gay-rights hating, misogynistic, and just plain crazy views. Of course in Saddlebackland there isn’t a controversy; it’s just the media creating conflict because that’s what they do. After all, if Keith Olbermann and Bill O’Reilly didn’t have a reason to piss on each other all the time they might finally admit that they really are in love. Of course, since there actually is a controversy, Warren tried to address it.
For starters, Pastor Rick is really butthurt that some right wing lunatic accused him of “sticking a fork in the head of every aborted baby” because he’s palling around with Barack ‘abortion-Hitler’ Obama. Clearly this is another media lie. At the inauguration they won’t be forking feti; the unborn will be skewered and roasted, this favorite dish of liberals is called a ka-baby.
He also thought it was important to tell us that the media never really gets it all right and warns us that “if you believe everything you read or hear or see there’s a word for that: foolish.” This is deliciously ironic from a man who opens his favorite book every day and believes everything he reads in it.
I probably only feel that way because I’m suffering from what Warren calls “christophobia”. Apparently I only object to people like him stripping the civil rights of others and laughing all the way to the inauguration because I am “afraid of any Christian”. It’s odd, this “christophobia” thing; it didn’t seem to pop up when I voted for born-again Barack, yet it seems to scream in my ear when I see Evangelical bigots…
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December 29, 2008
 You know how Rick Warren loves Africa? Well one of his favorite African peeps is Anglican Archbishop Peter Akinola of Nigeria. Akinola’s claim to fame is being one of the leading homophobes in the Anglican Community; he’s done everything from threatening to leave the church to sponsoring legislation in Nigeria that would strip LGBTQ persons of just about every civil right - not just marriage. Rick Warren’s take:
“I believe he, like Mandela, is a man of peace and his leadership is a model for Christians around the world.”
He’s just like Mandela - except for his burning hatred of civil rights. Learn more about Warren’s “model for Christians” after the break. Hint: this ‘model christian’ has nothing to do with that tolerance stuff we keep hearing about.
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December 23, 2008
 Until recently Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church website stated that LGBTQ Americans could not become members of the church unless they “repent of their homosexual lifestyle”. We can only assume that Rick Warren won’t accept paying LGBTQ members because he is terrified that gay dollars are a Trojan horse for the sodomite beast to invade his church.
While they couldn’t become members, LGBTQ people could come and soak in warren’s anti-gay wisdom. No doubt Warren hoped they could be cured of their normal healthy sexual orientation and be turned into sexually repressed baby making machines for Jesus.
Well that era’s over and Saddleback seems to be open for gay business - they took all the anti-gay membership language off their website. So why don’t you take all your LGBTQ friends down to the OC and see if you can become a saddleback member with all your gay monies.
If you want to demand a bigot-free inauguration you can contact the President Elect here.
[Americablog]
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December 22, 2008
 Part of Rick Warren’s Evangelical Empire is pastors.com - a website designed to provide support to pastors who choose to embrace Warren’s special blend of Christianity. On the site pastors can network with one another, download a whole years worth of Warren’s sermons, and sign up for Rick Warren’s Ministry Toolbox, which is Rick Warren’s newsletter for pastors. Toolbox offers a regular injection of Rick Warren’s advice on how to “grow healthier churches” and answers questions like “How much does Jesus love those with AIDS?” (”This much!”) and “Why Does God Allow Evil?” (?).
Attracting our special attention today is a little missive by Beth Moore that Warren loved so much that he sent it out to help other Pastors to “grow healthier churches”. The message? “Wives, submit to your husbands.”
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December 19, 2008
 Obama’s new prayer buddy Rick Warren is sounding off on people demanding that Obama kick his bigoted ass out of the inauguration ceremony:
“I commend President-elect Obama for his courage to willingly take enormous heat from his base by inviting someone like me, with whom he doesn’t agree on every issue, to offer the Invocation at his historic Inaugural ceremony.”
Don’t be hatin’, Obama’s got some serious balls - balls he is using to teabag the LGBTQ equality movement.
[The Dallas Morning News]
If you want to demand a bigot-free inauguration you can contact the President Elect here.
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 Alot of people are confused about the outrage surrounding Rick Warren these days; he has always seemed a bit more moderate that his peers, after all. These confused people want to know why LGBTQ Americans and their civil-rights-minded allies are so mad about Warren’s place in Obama’s inauguration. I mean this is Rick ‘fights AIDS’ Warren, this is the man who wrote that not terribly scary book The Purpose Driven Life, what could be so wrong with him?
In short, he’s a misogynistic bigot - albeit a bigot who has been very slick at defining himself publicly by his soft-sell manner rather than his hard line beliefs. The problem people have is that once you crack Warren’s affable and philanthropic shell, you find his gooey bubbling core of Evangelical bigotry.
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