Bil O’Reilly’s favorite girlfriend, Anne Coulter, is back to saying crazy things:
This year, I believe my triumph over this synthetic holiday is nearly complete. The only mentions of Kwanzaa I’ve seen are humorous ones. Most important, for the first time in eight years, President George Bush appears not to have issued “Kwanzaa greetings” to honor this phony non-Christian holiday that is younger than I am.
Ann would be correct…except that pesky reality thing strikes again! Kwanzaa is not at all forgotten; this year is the first year Kwanzaa got its own feature film (narrated by iconic author Maya Angelou) and George Bush did issue his Kwanzaa greeting…just like every other year. Not to worry - none of this will get in the way of Ann’s quest for the total destruction of the “communist” holiday Kwanzaa…so that we can all be Christians!
Kwanzaa liberates no one; Christianity liberates everyone, proclaiming that we are all equal before God. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).
While evil apostates would have you believe that Christmas actually has its roots in a heathen Pagan celebration, true Christians know the real reason for the season - making an ass out of yourself.
Members of Praise Chapel Fellowship Church getting gussied up in their Christ impersonator costumes and hitting their local malls with the intention of reminding people that Christmas is about Jesus, not shopping. When at the mall, Jesus does what any of us would: Laze around in the massage chairs at Brookstones, grab a latte, and try not to lech at the Victoria’s Secret display.
America’s favorite blowhard, Christopher Hitchens, is shooting off his big mouth again to make sure everyone knows he is a pretentious dick and to say a little something about Christmas. The thing that irks Hitchens most about Christmas? The hideous decorations and obnoxious carols, which (I must agree) are an affront to both thinking minds and good taste everywhere. Also, he does not want his tax money used for said insults to taste.
If the totalitarians cannot bear to abandon their adoration of their various Dear Leaders, can they not at least arrange to hold their ceremonies in private? Either that or give up the tax-exempt status that must remind them so painfully of the things of this material world.
Megyn Kelly bravely went on The O’Reilly Factor to discuss the sad state of Washington State Capitol and its plethora of signs. Kelly believes the governor is justified in cutting off new display applications due to lack of space, whereas Bill somehow feels this proves he was right all along and that all displays should be removed (except for that Christian one). In reality, both of them are wrong.
Go ahead and watch the clip anyway because, as the Friendly Atheist points out, it’s always entertaining to see people shout “You are so wrong” at Bill O’Reilly - just as you have so many times from the comfort of your own home.
In case you guys were somehow able to forget for two seconds, it’s the fucking holiday season. All of your relatives are surely well into their annual sport of pestering you with their various religiously-themed holiday cards - but this year you can finally pester them back with your vary own Atheistical holiday cards, which are now officially the worst insult to Christmas, ever.
Fag-hating Jesus hero Fred Phelps and the cast of lovable wacky characters who attend his church had a little sign of their own they wanted to put up at Washington’s State Capitol. Since that wasn’t happening, they decided to make a fly music video to inform us all that our dangerous Santa worship will send us strait to hell, where there will be no Christmas, just Baby Got Back on loop, forever and ever.
The school choir at Arthur Bugler County Junior School in Stanford-le-Hope, Essex was not allowed to sing at a local Winter Festival because their carols were deemed too religious and did not match the inclusive theme of the Winter (read: not Christmas) Festival. Now people are all pissed off and ranting about the ’secular war on Christmas’ (which we totally won this time):
Chairman of the Prayer Book Society Prudence Dailey has hit out at the organizers of ‘winter festivals’ up and down the country, saying their political correctness threatens Christmas.
‘These “politically correct winter festivals” seek to make Christmas part of a “multi-faith” mix and hark back to pagan winter solstice observance.’
Um, you caught us? Oh no - not tolerance and inclusiveness, you monsters!
Instead Irish children entertained the crowd by dancing and eating potatoes, only to later be consumed themselves by the startving people of their homeland.
Anjem Choudary, a Muslim lawyer and preacher, has used the grand mosque of the Internet (which can easily seat millions) to give the baby Jesus a major Islamic titty-twister:
“Every Muslim has a responsibility to protect his family from the misguidance of Christmas, because its observance will lead to hellfire. Protect your Paradise from being taken away – protect yourself and your family from Christmas.”
We must heed these most holy words; too long have we let our families engage in terrible, sinful activities like “decorating the house, purchasing Christmas trees or having Christmas turkey meals.” Clearly we must banish this evil from among us - our children should be raised form the cradle to cock-punch mall Santas on sight for the glory of Allah.
While evil apostates would have you believe that Christmas actually has its roots in a heathen Pagan celebration, true Christians know the real reason for the season - making an ass out of yourself.
Anjem Choudary, a Muslim lawyer and preacher, has used the grand mosque of